relationships

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

friendster, myspace, multiply, hi5, now facebook?

my roommate and my brother both use my accounts on these websites because they don’t wanna get their own… and i understand why.  i’m not really into these find-your-friend websites.  yet… i do have a friendster account cuz it was the first one and i thought it’d be nice to say hi to my friends that way.

then myspace turned out to be the better way to keep in touch with what my students were doing.  plus i found so many old friends and classmates through it.  i don’t even use my friendster account anymore.

then i joined multiply cuz my multiply was the easiest way to share photo albums.

then i found out all my friends from ecuador were on hi5, so of course i had to join that.  i found my “hermanas” and my “primas” there - found out that one of them had kids, while the younger sisters are now done with high school.  was it really that long ago? 

now i’m getting requests from wrm (who remembers me?) and facebook. 

but i really would rather have my friends find me by googling my name - i mean, this blog should be the first thing that shows up when you do that.  plus, if i’m on myspace and multiply and hi5 then how much trouble can any one person have finding me?

but even though i’ve held off for this long and ignore the multiple requests form wrm and facebook, and as much as i don’t really like the entire genre of websites, i’m still grateful for all the friends i’ve lost throughout time that i’ve reconnected with thru these websites.

cuz let’s face it - i’m not the best person to keep in touch.  in fact, i’m the person that gathers everyone’s email address then never emails anyone!  i lose phone numbers, i don’t call many people and i was never good at being pen pals.  brandy has called ecuador so many times and has even gone back to visit and i… well, i’m just happy i found their pages on hi5 so that i can see what my ecuadorian family is doing =)

so even though i don’t really wanna be part of those web communities, i’m so ever grateful for being able to find my friends again.

Posted by kgrp on 06/20 at 02:06 PM
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Tuesday, March 20, 2007

this is me, disgusted

thank you, mandy, for making me laugh. 

Posted by kgrp on 03/20 at 07:52 PM
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Sunday, March 18, 2007

i don't like you

i’ve told you straight to your face....

i don’t want to talk right now.

i don’t need to be called 3 times a day so you can hang out with me.

i don’t want to be called 3 times a day so you can try to get me to talk.

i would just like to be left alone, simply cuz i’m feeling particlarly un-social right now.  maybe i would like you better if you could realize that about me and STOP calling me and STOP texting me.

and for you, which part of “i don’t like you” don’t you understand?

someone won’t leave me alone… and i don’t know what else to say to make it happen.  other than post this and vent on my blog.  just so i don’t end up yelling when i finally do talk…

the sad thing is, this applies to more than one person in my life....

Posted by kgrp on 03/18 at 04:13 PM
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Friday, March 02, 2007

i'm creating a new club!

such a great idea - why don’t we have a club full of the type of people that i like to hang out with!  then even though my closest and dearest friends live far away, i would have a group of people with whom i could talk late into the night, philosophizing, theorizing, discussing (aka arguing a la merv), and making each other laugh. 

funny thing is, there’s no way to create that.  i’ve met people that are exactly those type of people but for some reason there’s no chemistry between us.  and then again, i’ve met people who have fallen into that category the second i meet them (hi susan!).

even funnier, i know that even if i could make that club, i’d be the first one to ditch the meetings, sitting at the coffeehouse outside chilling and talking with my friends.

but wouldn’t it be so great???  =)

Posted by kgrp on 03/02 at 12:17 AM
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Saturday, April 22, 2006

so many thoughts...

i have a jumble of thoughts in my head, and i know they’re all inter-related, and so i’m assuming they are a string of thoughts… but where does this string start?  or is it a big tangle of similar but unrelated events?  how am i ever supposed to untangle this mess in my head?

who will help me talk it out?

Posted by kgrp on 04/22 at 10:57 AM
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Friday, December 30, 2005

to say hi, or not to say hi?

a few weeks ago, while hanging out with a bunch of friends, i found myself standing next to the friend of one of my friends.  i’d seen this guy around all summer long and unfortunately, i still didn’t know his name.  in an attempt to be friendly and take out the awkwardness of talking to someone whose name you don’t know, i said, “hey!” and then after he said hey back, i just said, “what’s your name again?” i explained that i’d seen him with one of my friends all summer long but that i couldn’t remember his name.  friendly and harmless, right?  well, a couple conversations later, he ended up asking if i have a boyfriend, so i told him i was seeing someone.  later on, i was talking to kuya garry, and i related the story to him, and he pointed out - “but you started it!”, chastising me for being the one to approach him.  apparently, because i asked him his name, i shouldn’t be surprised that he would think that i’m interested… i say whatever!  i was being friendly!  he asked a simple question (which i totally appreciate because some other guys will quote-on-quote-pursue you without ever making their intentions clear and then that woulda left me in an awkward situation with this guy being too friendly and i started it out by being friendly but how do you tell this guy “you’re being too friendly”!??!?!  a guy who asks straight-up about relationships gives you the chance to say “yes” or “no” and that’s always appreciated.  i’ve noticed that most adventist guys go the other way, the way i don’t like, so i’m really impressed that this guy in particular asked me.) and that conversation may have been slightly awkward but i think we both handled it okay.

anyways, moving forward another week… so then, it’s Christmas and i’m at my cousins’ house.  i had slept over the night before and was woken up earlier than i’d’ve liked to get up so that i could start cooking my adobo.  i wandered down to the kitchen in my pajamas sans shower and i started to make my food.  i had just finished cooking when the guests started arriving, and i though, hmm… this is the time when i need to go upstairs and shower before i meet anyone!  right then, my cousin came in the door and we started talking about important stuff, so i ended up staying downstairs to talk to him.  a few minutes later this young filipino guy i don’t know came in the door, and kuya garry is there, saying hi to him.  i’m still talking to my kuya ernest at the dining room table, so i just turn my head quickly, say “hi”, and then go back to my conversation.  kuya garry and eugene end up sitting down at the table next to me and kuya ernest leaves the room, so i figure, it’s now time for me to shower.  i leave the table and head upstairs and shower and change and get ready to meet all the guests, then i head back downstairs.  i see the three guys still sitting at the table where i left them, and i joined them, continuing my conversation with my cousin.  later on, after most of the people had gone home, kuya garry was like, “you didn’t talk to eugene!!” and i said, “i said hi” but no, i guess i didn’t talk to him.  i included him in our poker game and invited him to play a second round, which he declined because he was playing taboo with my other cousins.  but kuya garry said i shoulda been more friendly to him because he didn’t know anyone else there.

i was like, UM, NO.  i mean, if i get in trouble for saying “what’s your name?” to a mutual friend, then why should kuya garry expect me to be the one to entertain this guy for the entire Christmas day.  like i said, NO WAY!  and then kuya garry said, yah, that’s true, but still, you coulda been friendlier.  and then he admitted to using his daughter to befriend the guys who didn’t look like they talk to anyone at church.  i’m thinking… hmmm… young, pretty, teenage daughter, and you’re sending her in to greet those guys without friends?  making her show interest in someone who doesn’t talk to anyone else?  and then he has the guts to blame me for being the one to ask the guy what his name is, when i’m just trying to be friendly!

so… i’m wondering.... how does a girl who is uninterested relationship-wise be friendly towards a guy she doesn’t know without sending the wrong signal?  is that even a possibility?  if i am the one to approach and say hi, have i already gone too far?  should i wait there for him to say hi?  i try to include all people, whether guy or girls, but i’m aware that my actions could be misleading.  so… in an attempt to not mislead guys, i ask you, oh all-knowing internet, what do i do??!?

Posted by kgrp on 12/30 at 10:43 AM
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Sunday, December 18, 2005

the joys of filipino dating

when i was growing up, i remember watching all of my older cousins bring their dates around on Sabbath afternoons to family potluck.  i would watch as my uncles and aunties would “conchow” and tease these girls.  in fact, i remember my kuya chester, when he got engaged to ate gemma, dropped her off in a chair in front of my aunties/uncles, wished her good luck, and then took off with the guy cousins to hang out, and he just left her to fend for herself during her veritable interview into our family!  it just seemed like a rite of passage that anyone who hangs out with our family is given a hard time, and you have to be able to hang with it or else we pretty much never saw you again, although that was probably cuz they were scared of us, cuz we accepted anyone in.  in fact, the more we liked you, the more teasing you got.  it was our special way of letting you know that we liked you =)

when i started dating, i remember the first time my friend (more accurately, my first boyfriend, pre-boyfriend stage...) came over during potluck to pick me up.  he stayed for at least 20 minutes before we left, and i remember waiting during all those 20 minutes for my uncles to start their teasing… but it never came!  i was so incredibly disappointed, especially cuz i had hyped it up before he came over, and told him to be prepared, and then… nothing!  i wondered why they didn’t tease him… did they not like him?  or perhaps… maybe i was just too young (my cousins are on average 15+ years older than me) and the novelty of scaring away potential in-laws had worn off.  either way i remember waiting for the interrogation period to begin.  it never really happened with any of my boyfriends.

i think i just figured out why it never happened.

see, i only remember our family grilling the girls who dated into the family, and i don’t remember the guys ever having to do that.  since i’ve dated only guys… well… they never got the special treatment.  i remember bringing friends home, like christina or ching or kat, and they were given a hard time.  so my grand conclusion is that only girls get this treatment.

how’d i figure this out?  well… being a girl dating a filipino guy, i was on the receiving end of this treatment today.  nothing too harsh, no pressing interview like when you get into my family, but still - the aunties dragged me outta the room where all us “kids” were sitting and introduced me to all the aunties and told me that they were ‘his’ aunties, just like that, without saying his name, cuz they didn’t wanna specify who ‘he’ was.  they asked me who i was and i gave the great filipino introduction that always makes me feel like i’m from the Bible times or the olden days of kings, queens, and lords - “i’m kimberly, daughter of ray and leni, granddaughter of pastor banaag.  i come in peace” while they were all staring at me.  that was pretty much it.  i felt like a sheep or other barnyard animal because they were all assessing me and looking me over, they joked around with me for a little bit, and then they sent me on my way back to the herd, telling me to return back to the other room before anyone suspected what was up. 

and silly me… because that’s how my family was, i knew how to handle myself while they were looking me over, and while it may have been slightly awkward, it made me feel totally at home.

Posted by kgrp on 12/18 at 03:14 AM
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