Sunday, December 18, 2005

the joys of filipino dating

when i was growing up, i remember watching all of my older cousins bring their dates around on Sabbath afternoons to family potluck.  i would watch as my uncles and aunties would “conchow” and tease these girls.  in fact, i remember my kuya chester, when he got engaged to ate gemma, dropped her off in a chair in front of my aunties/uncles, wished her good luck, and then took off with the guy cousins to hang out, and he just left her to fend for herself during her veritable interview into our family!  it just seemed like a rite of passage that anyone who hangs out with our family is given a hard time, and you have to be able to hang with it or else we pretty much never saw you again, although that was probably cuz they were scared of us, cuz we accepted anyone in.  in fact, the more we liked you, the more teasing you got.  it was our special way of letting you know that we liked you =)

when i started dating, i remember the first time my friend (more accurately, my first boyfriend, pre-boyfriend stage...) came over during potluck to pick me up.  he stayed for at least 20 minutes before we left, and i remember waiting during all those 20 minutes for my uncles to start their teasing… but it never came!  i was so incredibly disappointed, especially cuz i had hyped it up before he came over, and told him to be prepared, and then… nothing!  i wondered why they didn’t tease him… did they not like him?  or perhaps… maybe i was just too young (my cousins are on average 15+ years older than me) and the novelty of scaring away potential in-laws had worn off.  either way i remember waiting for the interrogation period to begin.  it never really happened with any of my boyfriends.

i think i just figured out why it never happened.

see, i only remember our family grilling the girls who dated into the family, and i don’t remember the guys ever having to do that.  since i’ve dated only guys… well… they never got the special treatment.  i remember bringing friends home, like christina or ching or kat, and they were given a hard time.  so my grand conclusion is that only girls get this treatment.

how’d i figure this out?  well… being a girl dating a filipino guy, i was on the receiving end of this treatment today.  nothing too harsh, no pressing interview like when you get into my family, but still - the aunties dragged me outta the room where all us “kids” were sitting and introduced me to all the aunties and told me that they were ‘his’ aunties, just like that, without saying his name, cuz they didn’t wanna specify who ‘he’ was.  they asked me who i was and i gave the great filipino introduction that always makes me feel like i’m from the Bible times or the olden days of kings, queens, and lords - “i’m kimberly, daughter of ray and leni, granddaughter of pastor banaag.  i come in peace” while they were all staring at me.  that was pretty much it.  i felt like a sheep or other barnyard animal because they were all assessing me and looking me over, they joked around with me for a little bit, and then they sent me on my way back to the herd, telling me to return back to the other room before anyone suspected what was up. 

and silly me… because that’s how my family was, i knew how to handle myself while they were looking me over, and while it may have been slightly awkward, it made me feel totally at home.

Posted by kgrp on 12/18 at 03:14 AM
relationships • (6) leave a note • (0) Trackbacks • Permalink
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