Tuesday, February 12, 2008
i so need to be better at posting
so mostly, i’ve just been puttering around on the internet lately, mostly because of my bum ankle, and also partly because i caught a cold or something like it, except 1 symptom at a time! i tend to get sick in stages - this time, it was sniffly and congested first, which resulted in a major headache on tuesday. i got the chills sans fever afterwards, and i couldn’t stay warm, even though i was wearing an undershirt, long sleeve shirt, thermal shirt, t-shirt, and sweatshirt, long johns, warmups, and 2 pairs of socks - and lying in bed under two comforters! you’d think i’da been toasty warm but i wasn’t. bleh. stupid sickness. and then finally that went away but in came the coughing - mostly dry, unproductive, and tearing up my throat! i’ve caved (from only using natural remedies) and i’m taking any medicine which pertains to my one symptom at a time, so that means i’m on tussin. much better to use medicine than lose all my larynx due to a cough! seriously? i can swear it’s torn back there! it hurts to swallow!
anyways, this post wasn’t intended to be a post about my sickness but apparently that’s what’s been running my life recently. what i did wanna post about was all the other stuff on my mind, such as the state of education in california (and much more specifically, my school), and my thoughts on religion, which are heavy and plentiful.
but…
i don’t know if that’s a good idea.
first of all… i might say too much about the education system, or i might say things too specifically. so i have to make sure to not reference anyone or any situation and if i can’t tell the whole story, what’s the fun in that? suffice it to say that many times, i feel that the education system does its best to make it difficult to educate our students. maybe i’ll say more on that later, or maybe i’ll just keep my mouth shut. i don’t know yet, so we’ll see.
secondly, the religion issue is a touchy situation, even within my head. i have thoughts and concerns and questions and doubts, but they’re safe in my brain. i can ruminate the thoughts and churn ‘em around and not worry if i think something that could be *gasp* sacrilegious. but if i write something (esp. while i’m just questioning), it makes me feel like i’m anti- everything i grew up learning. which i really don’t think i am, or at least part of me is hoping that i’m wrong somewhere and that it will all make sense again. however, i think that’s probably the part that bugs me the most. it’s not so much what i believe now more than the fact that i’ve lost my naivete about the institution which raised me. i will always be an adventist through culture and upbringing, but part of me knows that i’ve lost part of that. no matter how much i might believe what they teach, even, i think i still will never be the good little adventist girl i used to be. and like the sentimental fool i am, that really makes me sad. so much so that i don’t really wanna admit it and broadcast it to the world. -sigh- anyways… that’s why i’ve refrained from doing a religion post. though i think it might be nearly time to write about the events that brought me to where i am/am not today.
so in all actuality, i think it might be easier to just post about my camote plant. but i thought i’d provide some actual blog content before everyone thinks this is only a gardening blog!
eh. i don’t feel like saying much more so be prepared for some pictures of my plant soon!